On my mind....

By -
Dear Diary,
I haven't been sleeping well lately because I have about 1000's running through my head and the worst bit is, I can't do anything about it. I just have to get it off my chest.
First, the sale of our house. Our solicitor advised us it will probably complete on Friday. That's great but after two months it's about time. If we have to make another mortgage payment on an empty house I'll go over the edge.
Second, the visas. We have confirmation of receipt. At least we know they got them and it's proceeding and when they do get issues, Isla can go to work too because she's also getting a work authorization.
What bothers me most about the visas is the fact that all this could've been done last year and we would not have had to go through the periods of separation. Colin missed four months of the first six months of Isla's life and then some afterwards as well. Now we have to wait another couple of months and if they are not issued by the end of June we can't go to Canada for my neices wedding because we assume the risk of not being able to come back to the USA.
Third, Isla still isn't walking and I KNOW she can do it. She stands by herself and walks the walls like Spiderman. It's her confidence level and yes, I KNOW, she will do it when she is ready.
Maybe it's not a matter of control for me but the fact that so much is up in the air even after a year. We've been living like nomads for about a year - no permanent visas, no medical insurance and not even knowing whether or not we will continue to live here in the month or so. If not here, then where? Canada? UK? We don't know. We really live month to month.
God is testing our faith, that is without a doubt and as emotionally difficult as it is, I welcome it as well. How do you grow if you're not tested? Cruising through life is not beneficial for anyone. Besides I know at the end of the day it will strengthen us as individuals, as a couple and as a family by persevering together. I know He is in control and what He has planned for us will happen. I tell myself that everyday (yes, I do talk to myself a lot) and it is comforting to read passages like this:
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (NIV)
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV)
How could I possibly cope without the hope? Staying the faith is not easy but reading passages like Jeremiah keeps us strong and reminds of our reward in heaven. Our life here is temporal and so are the situations we find ourselves in at the now and possibly in the future.
2 Corinthians 4: 16-19
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying,
yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.
For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an
eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,
while we look not at the things which are seen,
but at the things which are not seen;
for the things which are seen are temporal,
but the things which are not seen are eternal."

So that is a tidbit of what is on my mind these last few days.

We need your help, specifically your prayers. Please encourge us by praying for us.

Please pray that our house will be sold on Friday; please pray that the visas are issued in a timely matter and there are no delays and please pray that our faith will be made greater through this.

May His will be done.